🐔 Diario d'Hasko: La vez que le hice un parry a las gallinas

Parry King » Devlog
2024-11-13 by Thunder Banana (@thunderbanana_)
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Diario d'Hasko: La vez que le hice un parry a las gallinas

Pos na’, hoy m'levanté con to' la idea de entrenar esos reflejos míos, que están más oxidaos que la reja de la iglesia. Así que dije, “Hasko, ¿qué puede ser mejor pa' entrenarte que las gallinas del corral?” Al fin y al cabo, las condenás no son tan peligrosas, ¿verdá? ¿Qué daño puede hacer un par de plumas y unos picos flacos, eh?

Pos ahí fui yo, con mi “escudo” (que pa’ ser sincero era la tapa d'una olla vieja que encontré tirá en la cocina). Me dije pa’ mí mismo: “Hasko, si puedes parrear a una gallina furiosa, puedes con cualquiera.” Y me puse mi cara d’héroe, como si fuera pa' luchar con dragones.

Todo empezó suave, como manteca, pero luego la Doña Clotilde, la gallina más vieja y más malage de to’ el corral, me lanzó una mirada que casi me voltea de espaldas. Sin darme tiempo pa’ respirar, ¡zas!, me lanza un picotazo que, por poco, me hace soltar la tapa. Intenté hacerle un parry, pero era más rápida que una liebre en fiesta, esquivando mis movidas como si fuera un ninja con plumas.

Ahí estaba yo, dando vueltas como un trompo, tratando de “bloquear” los ataques de la Doña Clotilde, que ya se había empeñao en echarme de su territorio. Y pa’ colmo, las otras gallinas se unieron al jaleo, como si yo fuera el enemigo número uno del corral. Al rato, estaba rodeao de un batallón de plumas furiosas, intentando hacer parries a diestro y siniestro, pero las condenás eran más que yo.

Al final, terminé trepao en el barril de agua, con la Doña Clotilde abajo, mirándome como si ella fuera la verdadera Reina del Parry. Y, como si el día no pudiera ser peor, justo en ese momento pasó mi abuela, meneando la cabeza con cara de vergüenza y lástima. “¿Entrenando, dices?” me soltó, levantando una ceja.

Lección d’hoy: el parry sirve pa’ enemigos con un poco d’honor, pero cuando te topas con una panda de gallinas furiosas… mejor correr. Mañana probaré algo menos… plumoso pa' entrenar.


Hasko’s Diary: The Time I Tried to Parry Chickens

Well, reckon today was the day I’d work on them quick reflexes, so I thought, “Hasko, why not practice parryin’ with… the chickens in the coop?” I mean, chickens ain't no real threat, right? Just a few feathers and some beaks. What could go wrong?

So there I went, moseyin’ on in with my “shield” (which was just the ol' pot lid from the kitchen). I told myself, “Now, Hasko, if ya can parry an angry ol' hen, ya can handle anythin'.” Off I went, lookin' all brave and noble, like a rooster ready to crow.

First things were smooth as butter, till Ol' Lady Clotilde—the meanest, oldest hen there ever was—gave me one of them nasty looks, like I’d just stole her last grain. Before I could blink, bam! She pecked right at me, near made me drop my pot lid. I tried to parry her attack, but she was faster than a rabbit in a cornfield, dartin' round like some kinda ninja with feathers.

Next thing I knew, I was spinnin' in circles, tryin' to “block” Ol' Lady Clotilde’s attacks while she was dead-set on runnin’ me outta her coop. Then the whole flock joined in, like I was some kinda corn thief. Soon enough, I was knee-deep in feathers and fury, tryin’ parries left, right, and center, but them chickens had me outnumbered faster than you could say “chicken dinner.”

In the end, I clambered up on the ol' water barrel, with Ol' Lady Clotilde below, lookin' at me like she was the real Parry Queen. And wouldn’t ya know, that’s when Granny walked by, lookin' at me like, “Trainin’, are ya?” She just shook her head.

Moral of the story: parries work fine on foes with a bit of decency, but when it’s a mess of mad hens… well, reckon runnin' is the best plan. Tomorrow, I’ll find me somethin' a little less... feathery to practice on.


하스코의 일기: 닭에게 파리를 시도해본 날

글쎄, 오늘은 반사 신경 훈련이나 해볼까 해서 “하스코, 닭장에 있는 닭들을 상대로 파리나 연습해보자?” 하고 말했지. 닭들은 별로 위험하지 않잖아? 깃털 몇 개랑 무해한 부리들인데 뭐가 문제겠어?

그래서 닭장으로 가서 내 “방패” (사실 부엌에서 찾아낸 낡은 냄비 뚜껑이었지만) 들고, “하스코, 화난 닭을 파리할 수 있다면 넌 뭐든지 할 수 있어!”라고 스스로에게 말했어. 그리고 영웅처럼 결심하고 행동 준비 완료!

처음엔 아주 좋았지, 근데 닭장에 있는 가장 오래되고 성질 고약한 클로틸드가 날 못마땅하게 쳐다보더니, 갑자기 “쾅!”하고 쪼기 시작하는 거야, 거의 냄비 뚜껑을 놓칠 뻔했어. 그녀의 공격을 파리하려 했는데 바람보다 빠르게 피하면서 마치 깃털 달린 닌자 같았어.

그렇게 나는 빙글빙글 돌면서 클로틸드의 공격을 막으려 했지만, 그녀는 날 내쫓으려 단단히 결심한 상태였어. 다른 닭들도 함께 달려들었고, 깃털로 뒤덮인 분노의 부대에게 둘러싸였지. 좌우로 파리를 시도했지만, 그 닭들이 너무 많아서 수적으로 열세였어.

결국, 나는 물통 위로 올라가서 클로틸드가 아래에서 진정한 파리의 여왕처럼 날 노려보고 있었어. 그리고 그때 할머니가 지나가며 실망한 눈빛으로 “훈련 중이냐?”라고 묻더라고.

오늘의 교훈: 파리는 약간의 명예를 가진 적에게는 잘 통하지만, 화난 닭 무리에게는… 도망치는 게 상책이야. 내일은 덜 공격적인 뭔가로 훈련해야겠어.

Parry King

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Thunder Banana
StatusPrototype
Publisher
AuthorThunder Banana
GenreCard Game
LanguagesEnglish

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